You Have No Power Over Me...Well...Mostly...

    Battle time! In a room full of people who I consider to be part of my crew and people who I have won the battle versus the boss Low self esteem, suddenly I feel very alone and out of place. I am standing on the edge of a battle field filled with the elite monsters, Stress, Unhappiness and Loneliness. I start to fight them. Knowing full well I am going to need some help in this battle as I have fought them many times before. The problem I have is knowing how to call my crew and raiding party to arms as I don't want to cause pain or worry to those I care about.

    I whip out my spell of "Mischief Maker." Where I share my silliness and attempt to find that place of fun once more as well as give me a buff against the downness that I know will be coming with their attacks. As I cast this I am hit with a large Sadness attack, which lowers my defenses against them. Granted I have the buff but the damage of the attack is greater than my defense against it. Then I am hit by a wave of "Lack of Belonging," which is the second level of the Sadness. I am starting to falter, not knowing what to use against these monsters. I start to use my skill of, "Attempt to Talk About Things." But it seems it's a little too late. After several attacks from these monsters I feel defeated and use my last ditch effort of "Hide." It does seem to work slightly as they miss a couple of attacks that I have a feeling would have hurt a lot.

    Suddenly I see a light in the darkness. A few of my crew have passed their perception and are noticing the fight, they cast buffs and some healing on me using hugs and verbal components. Then they join the fight and help me win the battle!  The monsters go running for the hills! I start to relax and feel the effects of having my amazing crew. The victory fanfare plays and we all celebrate. I know the war is far from over, however we have won the day!

    After all of this I am still suffering the after effects of the battle and I know those monsters will return to try to hurt me another day as they have been my nemesis for many long years now. For now I rest, try to let my wounds heal and let the effects of their spells wear off. They seem to be  much higher than rounds per level. It may in fact be several days until I am fully functioning at my full strength again. Still, I am so grateful to my crew and raiding party that they were there for me when such ugly monsters reared their heads!

*Insert Bloodlust Noise Here* Lioness Mode Enabled

    One of the most interesting things in life is that it is constantly throwing situations at each of us where we have to respec our talent trees or in turn re-roll as a new class of person. Each of us on our individual life path's are constantly changing, adapting and learning. It's absolutely intriguing to look at the ways each person I know has or has not changed. But in turn, we all have changed a great deal.

    When we are younger everything is new, shiny and we know everything. Especially when you find yourself surrounded by people to raid with or run dungeons with for the first time in your life. You get excited and happy. You learn to adapt to other's, you learn to beat new bosses and to work with other people in that goal. Ultimately there will be people who help you in that change, whether it's because they hurt you or because they help you find your roll in the raiding party. Some people help you realize which talents you want to take on your talent tree or cause you to be more of a defensive player than an offensive player. Any way you look at it. People change. It's just something that happens.

    Recently I have been finding that some people who perhaps knew me when I was just a little NEWB in this game called life seem to believe that I haven't come as far as I have. That I haven't beaten as many bosses as I have and haven't learned so many more talents on my talent tree and I have to say it has hurt and caused me to be very upset and angry. I realize they may be people who haven't seen the changes and don't know everything about where I've been over the last several years of my life path. They haven't seen the fact I've had to re-roll a few times and re-spec my entire life several times over. Honestly I don't believe that these people are worth it if they aren't going to believe that they are not the only ones who have experienced change and growth due to their own selfishness and self conscious issues, whether they're aware of it or not.

    I have come a long way from where I was I was just a NEWB. I have kept a decent job here at the Tower, I have people who aren't going to continuously put me down and cause me to be in a constant state of self doubt. I have a fantastic support structure and wonderful people in my life, including my amazing questing partner who rocks my world and does his very best to be supportive and helps me through things when they're upset. I am NOT the scared, overly excited, awkward little magic user I was back then. Am I don't with my changes and my growth? Definitely not! But have I come a long way? Yes! So I suppose the only way to end this is I am me, hear me roar!

Did Anyone See the Number on that Carriage?

    Again my life path has caused too much business to post on the proper days, times and once again my anecdotes are not the happiest. I apologize for that once again dear readers. But honestly, I feel as though I have been constantly on a loop in a dungeon crawl as of late. This too will pass, I will once again fight my way through the dungeon and passed the bosses. Just have to make sure I don't fall over too many times on my way.

    After all the other crazy things I have been battling lately. The battle against the loss of my familiar, the triumph of joining my questing partner in our domicile and home, all of the weird health things that have popped up this last year. I had a horrible thing happen with my little Ember carriage while I was away from her working in the Tower. She was hit by someone else who was attempting to leave their carriage there as well. She has some serious damage to both of her passenger side entryways. It is quite a bit of damage and I am a bit nervous that when they do the assessment this week, I am going Thursday to start that whole process, that they will tell me that my chariot has too much damage and they will total it. As she is really not worth that much gold to start with at this point.

    It has been a lot of drastic change in my daily questing and my life path the last several weeks. Some of it is definitely wearing me down. Some of it is allowing me to get through my dailies much easier and in a much more triumphant manner. So hopefully with time I will find myself in line with many more of the triumphs and less of the wanting to mulligan on the days.

    One of the great things is I have yet another one of my crew who has started here at the Tower with me as of today! I am excited to welcome him here and hope he enjoys the job and makes some good amount of gold as well!  It does indeed make me happy that I can help my crew find decent employment, even if it is just for a little while, here at the Tower with me. I have enjoyed and been able to stick with my tasks here for a while now, and I honestly think it's one of the best places I have been employed. So welcome to the Wizards Tower!

[Where the Heart Is]: Missing One Tigress...

   I know I promised to post after the relocation. It has been a very long few weeks since that move. A lot of it good, but there has definitely been a very large sad thing that has happened. I have been working on unpacking and creating a home in the domicile with my questing partner. We are not quite done yet, however, it is on it's way.

    While I was going through some of my scrolls and texts I definitely found I had moved a creature with me. Suddenly as I was moving a nest for a little critter, which I believed to be empty, I had a bit of a scare. A mouse ran by my hand and brushed against me. Normally I don't make high pitched squeaking noises, but being startled definitely changed that. I am not frightened of little critters like that, it just surprised me and I didn't have any of my spells ready to combat it. So I have now put out some things to attempt to capture it and hope that this will work eventually. Now the other member of the domicile came running as he was concerned there was something actually wrong. I told him what had happened and now we all laugh about it a bit. Though we still haven't caught the little critter. I'm thinking that is only a matter of time.

    The good, there has been a lot of craziness, with members of my crew. We have had many days filled with seeing people, helping people with things and attempting to work our way forward in this new chapter of life. I have been feeling like my life path is finally heading in the future direction. I have stabilized, mostly, kept my position at the Tower for 2 cycles as well as next week my questing partner and I will also be celebrating our 2 years together! I am looking forward to it!

   The bad, things at the tower have continued to be stressful, between the craziness of the rules changes every other day and the fact I have had a few of the codes I have deciphered returned to be redone. It is a frustrating day when I come in to communications from the higher ups, telling me to redo these things in a very rude manner. But this too shall pass, I won't pull out any of my fireballs just yet. Perhaps soon, but for now they stay in place.
 
    The horrible, my familiar, and furbaby for many years now has crossed the rainbow bridge as of yesterday morning. Her health has been getting worse the last couple of weeks and I was finally able to get her into her healer the other day. She apparently had some very severe liver failure and had been suffering for a while. The healer informed me she was really far along in her travels to whatever is next for her. I had to make the hard and heartbreaking decision to let her go before it got worse and to let her leave with memories of me being there, holding her and feeling all of the love I have and have had for her over the years. The one thing that actually made me feel the tiniest bit better about it all was as she was being injected she wrapped her head around my hand in a hug and gave me the look of this is okay and what I need mommy. I know it was for the best and the kindest thing I could do for her, but I will always miss her. I truly feel like a piece of me is now missing. I know she will be with me in my heart and am very much trying to remember the good memories that I have of her in my life.

    The first day I met her, was probably shortly after her ear had been clipped as a feral cat. She had done the living outdoors thing, and had enough, she wanted a home, a family and a person. She was the color of pussy willows, hence her name, Willow, and I was her person just about from day one. She was so loving, loveable, always knew when to snuggle / attempt to cheer someone up and to just accept the love of someone who needed a wonderful little lady to care about. I had her through so many big events in my life, it's hard to think of her not being there for the future ones.

                                                 RIP my little lady! My Willow cat
                                                                    My Familiar

Moving Mountains? Well Maybe Just My Gear...

    Well my questing partner and I officially got the news today that I am all good to level and gain the achievement [Where the Heart is] as of June 1st! I am a large mix of emotions right now. But excitement and happiness are mostly winning out right now. There is so much to get done in the next couple of weeks before I get myself a big carriage and bring my worldly belongings to the domicile I will be sharing with my questing partner and one other person. It has been a somewhat long road to get here, but I am happy that time is finally here.

    As many of you know I have had some really bad situations in my past for people I had chosen to spend my time with. After two years of being super happy sharing my life quest with this man I am excited to move forward in the next step of our lives together. Am I a little nervous? Sure, but I have every confidence that it will be amazing and happy. It helps that he has been by my side through a lot of the awful that has happened over the past two years! If he has dealt with me this long and hasn't run away yet, I think I'm good.

    The only thing that is making me a tiny bit sad is that my poor little familiar, Willow Cat, cannot make the move with me. Our Land owner has let me know that we can't have her there. Despite her being a very good girl. Due to her downhill health and such the last year, she is 14 now, it may be better for her to stay in a place she knows and likes rather than exposing her to someplace completely new and scary for her only to have something happen to her. But at least she is going to be in a place where I can still see her often and I will know she is safe and relatively happy. 

    The rules changes at the Tower have definitely been causing some issues lately, despite my following the letter of the rules (as if I had switched my alignment to Lawful something rather than my standard Neutral Good) I have gotten a few of my puzzles returned to me as a mulligan. So I have been spending some time frustrated re-doing some of my files. It has definitely not helped with some of the fire which I feel so closely attuned to. My desire to throw fire balls or fire breath lately has definitely been coming to a front. I'm not completely sure where it's coming from, but I really am working on calming it down. I believe that attempting some sort of actual physical activity every day will help immensely with letting it release without burning something down. Plus, allowing myself some decompressing time when I get home from the frustration that has been the Tower should help as well. I have gotten a coloring book and plan on bringing some plants in porch boxes to my new home so that I can just relax a little bit right after. Hopefully this too shall pass, again.

    So now dear readers, I will leave you in peace for a bit. I may in fact not have any time until after the move for me to post another anecdotal life download. I hope that until that time you all find your dailies easy and find a way to let your life quest line be filled with happiness and some fun! Rather than just mini boss after mini boss!

Small but Strong!

    First off I would like to congratulate and excitedly welcome a couple of the members of my Crew to the code breaking and item finding at The Wizards Tower! I am excited you both have joined me in my dailies! It makes my day so much better and lunches SO much fun! <3

    The next thing I am really going to be toting about today is the fact that it is finally warm out! I have had a lot more time outside this past week, which makes this little Oracle a happy girl as sunshine and outside are the things that bring me the most peace! I bow my head to the Winter Queen, but I thank her for finally allowing her sister to take over the reigns and let us have the warmth.

    Speaking of the Tower, they recently changed how we do our item tracking system. The way the Powers have changed things is going to be a causing a huge increase in my gold intake! Which is making me happy and excited! It means I will be feeling much happier about the work I am doing yet again! It has been a bit of a transition, however I already saw the increase in items per hour there! I look forward to seeing the benefits of this increase coming next Friday!

    In the higher gold intake area, I am leading into getting the last bits of XP for yet another achievement! In just a few short weeks I will gain the achievement, [Where the Heart Is]! I will be moving myself, my Familiar Willow cat and my worldly possessions to join my questing partner in his domicile to stay! No more back and forth between two places and being able to have my familiar with me as well as my questing partner all the time! The levels of excitement are absolutely hard to contain. It will make all of the work we have to do in the next few weeks absolutely worth it!

    Sadly this week is a short week as far as my anecdotal life goes, while filled with lots of information and many things! But know this my dear readers, I am thinking of many new things to tell you all and explain to you coming soon! So keep your eyes peeled for our next installment!

Chaotic Mischief...Wait a Minute...What?!

    I swear I should have posted last week. I had finally beaten my boss battle with one of the plagues. I am now dealing with a mini boss plague this week so far. Though I think I'll be okay in my fight of it seeing my normal fighting techniques are working on it so far! So hopefully before I traverse to the land of Boston tomorrow for a fun day with my questing partner and watching the men who wear Red Sox play a game for our enjoyment I will be feeling better!

    This past couple of weeks have been filled with a lot of crazy. There has been lots of attempting to make up some of my gold at the tower, taking gold / tickets at the door for The One, which I have started to refer to my very part time second employment. But it does give me that little bit of dealing with the public I sometimes miss from working in The Tower for almost 2 years now. There has been dancing and time with my crew / raiding group. And lots of nerding.

    We also had some very important people come in to the Tower on Friday as it seems as though we may in fact be growing yet again. We will have to see how this works out. Perhaps it will finally be time for the upward movement of my position here, but we shall see.

    This past weekend I also got to celebrate the wheel of time going around one more time for a very close crew member! We had a fun night of mischief, Rock Band and general fun times. I will always repeat myself and reiterate how much I love my crew / raiding group / family! I am excited as it seems as though I have quite a few of those nights in store over the rest of the month. :)

    As I said, tomorrow, my questing partner and I head out on an adventure to spend the day in the big City of Boston. I am excited as I was able to take the whole day off from the Tower and we can make the day of it. It will be a nice relaxing and fun day. Which will also be good due to the weather finally acting like the Summer Queen has taken over and the Winter Queen has finally relented. I cannot wait to spend the day out in the warm weather with my questing partner! Even if it is in the city instead of out in the woods, which I HAVE to do soon because I am being called to go wander in the woods currently.

    Now I will let you all get back to enjoying the beautiful day, even if you're at work, go out on your lunch break because it's warm, wonderful and it's about time to let the Summer Queen you are listening!

Eradication of the Plague is Key!

    Sorry folks, due to my wonderful inability to win the apparently boss fight against Bronchitis, who over the course of the last few years has seemed to become my arch nemesis in my fight against sickness, I was not able to post last week. It also means I haven't had too many exciting adventures to share with you. Other than the fact that the healers have now piled on a regiment of weapons against said boss fight. I promise I will update with more of my anecdotal battles of daily life for a female gamer soon. You'd think that with all of the hours my questing partner and I have spent killing virus' and plagues in Pandemic, I may have more weapons at my disposal for these things. Sadly, that is not the case.

    The one good thing that has happened from fighting the plague as of late is that I have managed to entertain myself with many hours of games on my device of computing at home. My questing partner and I have played many hours of Civ 5 this past week. I now understand what he has said about this game being one of those, "just one more turn and suddenly it's 4 AM," games. So that has been good and restful.

    But for now I will not bore you all with my battle against Bronchitis and it's evil minions Cough and Phlegm. I wish you safe journeys, amazing quest rewards and good path progression until I return! Also sending out a lot of love and good thoughts to a couple of people in my adventuring party and crew who are going through particularly tough times right now. Know that my thoughts, love and hugs are with you in this time in your life. <3

Charm Person...It's a Thing...Use It!

    It still amazes me that even into adulthood the whole "Cool Kids Club" exists. I like to refer to them as "The Plastics" as was a term used for them in one of the silly girly movies I actually like, "Mean Girls." Especially with the upsurge in geek culture.

    I don't think I'll ever understand the constant need to put someone else down, treat them like they're less than you are just because they are different or into different things. By all means, don't force yourself to be friends with them, but seriously if they are different don't make fun of them and treat them like dirt. You're liable to get a fireball in your face or something.

   I bring up this issue as I recently dealt with it at my questing partner's work. I occasionally collect the gold at the door for musical acts which charge people to see them. Every time this particular group of people come in they treat me with the utmost disrespect. Rolling their eyes when I am just doing my job and whisper and point all night. If anyone who doesn't remotely look like they belong with their group comes anywhere near the territory they claim for the night, it turns into big cat season and they stalk (in a primal animal way, not in a bad human way) that person to the point it makes them nervous and leave. I have watched this quite a few times at this point and frankly it makes me want to seriously knock them out of the building with wall of wind or something.

    I know I shouldn't be angry about it, but it just reminds me of all the persecution that was given to the "nerdy / geeky" people as we were coming up, especially being a female of the persuasion. This sounds like one of those, "back in my day" things. But the nerd / geek culture really doesn't know how great they have it. It has become a good thing to be a smart kid, be into some sort of thing that makes you a geek. But it wasn't always that way. It was a long carved out process to get there. Believe me I am so very glad we have gotten there and that if I have little adventurers someday they absolute be nerdy or geeky or just love to learn.

    But for now we still sometimes have to deal with the stupid that is "The Plastics." While I probably never would do anything about it, if they took things to the next level I might actually stand up to them and tell them they need to back off, because they wouldn't like me when I'm angry....I might go green and poisonous on them...

Lo, They Do Call Me, They Bid Me Take My Place Among Them...For the Fallen Heroes Gone Before...

    Last week the world lost two amazing heroes in their battles with the bosses of disease. One was a someone who was a personal friend of mine. I haven't adventured with him in a few years now, however he was one of the first people who actually took the time to adventure with me from the time I was 2 on. For years he had been dealing with a huge boss, battling Muscular Dystrophy. It had taken many large attacks but he was still strong and kept moving forward attempting to defeat his big road block. He was an amazing person and by far one of the biggest inspirations, strongest people from my childhood. Over the years our path's have separated a bit, however we still managed to keep track of one another, one way or another. He was truly an inspiration to anyone who met him and he will be missed greatly. The one thing that I have had to remember as I mourn the loss of my friend has been the fact he no longer is suffering. I keep smiling at the image that he and his animal companion Flirt are up there somewhere running and playing. Happy, whole and safe.

    The second is a hero who indeed did live long and prosper. Leonard Nemoy, was an inspiration to many people. He was a great man and did many good things for women's rights as well as for the sci-fi / geek community. He was also a big part of my childhood, as if it were not for my parents love for Star Trek, I may never have become the absolute geek lady I am today. I am sad I never got the chance to meet him as he was one of my personal heroes growing up. He has also lost a battle to a boss of disease, just a little while ago he was diagnosed with a pulmonary disease due to years of smoking and has been doing his best to fight this boss for that time. Scotty finally beamed him up for the last time on Friday. His passing too will leave a large hole in the sci-fi world.

    Both of these people played a huge part in my childhood and while they were different in their influence on my life. One showed me that you can be strong and keep going no matter what and the other helped to open my eyes to the world that I am now completely part of. They will be missed and all I can do in this time is be strong and attempt to move forward through it. Remembering that sometimes the Warrior is a child.

"Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
I'm strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all these tears
Chorus:
They don't know that I come running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
(Look up for a smile)
'Coz deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child
(Aahhh)
Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
I never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet
Chorus:
They don't know that I come running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
(cry for just a while)
'Coz deep inside this armor
(deep inside this armor)
The warrior is a child
.....
They don't know that I come running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for a smile
'Coz deep inside this armor
(deep inside)
Deep inside this armor (deep inside this armor) 2x
The warrior is a child."

Onward and upward! To New things and the Next!

    So now that all of the holidays and winter craziness is starting to calm down it seems I can finally get back to sharing all of my dailies and adventures with you all. It may be a case where I just have to remember to take a little hiatus each year around this time so that I can get my spells re-memorized and be able to move forward in my adventure. So for the break, I am so sorry! I will now be continuing with your weekly installments of anecdotal fun, frustration or battles as the case may be.

    One of the battles here at the Tower that I have been dealing with off and on for the almost 2 years I've been here is with one particular person who is part of the powers that be. I have come to refer to her as the Wicked Witch. For some reason since I first asked a question of her (more than a year and a half ago) she hasn't liked me. She is rude, constantly hitting me with you're wrong spells and in general making me feel like she thinks I'm not doing the work I actually am. So, it's been a bit of a challenge to not just throw fireballs at her. Instead I have been passing my diplomacy checks, which seems to infuriate her even more. But hey, at least I have been passing the diplomacy checks, as I have been sharing my communications with the other people who are in fact my actual higher ups so that she can't get me in trouble, despite the amount she would love to somehow prove that I am doing something wrong.

     Other than that the Tower has been amazing. Things here are finally getting back to normal after the crazy fall that was there. We are finally starting to bring in and train new Oracles, Wizards, and other such folks to help with our large work load. I am excited to see where all that leads! Also I am excited to share things with others. I am excited to help and teach others the abilities and skills I have learned here. It's going to be fun and I am glad to share the place where I have come to enjoy a good amount of my dailies! Sometimes I still have tough days or days which I just don't want to be anywhere near the tower, but those always pass and I return with a smile and a bounce in my step soon after.

    As many of you know the holidays were a bit of a tough time for many of us. For me it was especially tough, this adventure called life cast perhaps the biggest fear spell on me I have ever dealt with in my life. I had a very large, very real scare that I perhaps might have had the big C disease. I don't believe I have been more afraid of anything in my life. Along with the biggest fear spell I also had the biggest relief I have ever encountered with the finding that all was benign. Though the healers are now somewhat nervous for me and I have to go visit them every 6 months to be tested again. So it seems as though I may never be completely out of the woods. But at least it is something that I am prepared for now.

    Things with my questing partner are stronger than ever! I am not going to tell you it's all roses and sunshine, because it wouldn't be a real partnership if that was the case. We have grown in being ourselves together and are now in process working to take another step forward. But I will tell you more about that when we get closer to that big happening. (Don't worry just a little while longer on the wait for that one) I honestly couldn't see my life without him and I am so happy he has continued to join me on the path I have been walking.

    Life has been continuing in a forward direction, things are happening every day that encourage me to actually get back to this and share it all with you. As I have learned the past couple of years with you all I do need the break in the winter to revamp, recharge and generally bring myself back from the craziness that is involved in that time of the year. So welcome back to the weekly installments of the adventures that come across my path!!!