Honestly, where I am and where I feel the winds bringing me is happier, healthier, more confident and truly being myself and comfortable in this roll life has given me. My path is a bit different from where I was before.
Recently I have not been facing too many battles with things, as the monsters of fear and anxiety seemed to have quieted as of late. Not gone completely mind you, just much less huge battles that leave me gasping and broken all the time.
I have been wandering the realm of thought. Particularly on the subject of a home and what that actually means to this little adventurer.
Previously in my life path I have found people and fellow questing / raiding people who felt like home. People I felt safe and comfortable with. I have been fortunate to find these things and these people. They have helped me through more battles and given me more downtime than I can in fact share with you all. But I have never had a place or an area that just felt that way. A place that I knew I could belong and just be me. It's been a rather uncomfortable walk on this path at times, but usually I could find my comfort and peace when I surrounded myself with those who became family rather than just my raiding party.
Recently however, I have in fact found myself spending time, yes with more people who feel like home, but also in an area that I just feel myself. A place I feel comfortable and relaxed. A place I feel I need to relocate myself to as it just feels like home. I have never experienced such a thing in my life and it is truly satisfying and freeing. To know I can be in this particular neck of the woods and know I was home.
I have felt this hiraeth - a homesickness to a home you have never had or you cannot return, for most of my life. So you can imagine the surprise when that was finally quelled in this particular place and area. It has been a thing I have longed for, most of my life and now that I have found it, it is time to keep it and build on it, to let it grow, let myself continue to heal and reach towards the next thing. The next adventure in life. The new path that I am going to be following.
Does it mean I am completely abandoning my former family and those who have stood with me against the biggest of my boss battles and running headlong to this place and these people? No! This place is definitely not so far as to have that happen. I will still be able to make my way to see those who mean so much to me and have become such huge parts of my being and my path, but I feel I will be more at peace and happier in my traversing to see them. With this new path I am very much looking forward to what life will bring. I meet the new day gladly.
Previously in my life path I have found people and fellow questing / raiding people who felt like home. People I felt safe and comfortable with. I have been fortunate to find these things and these people. They have helped me through more battles and given me more downtime than I can in fact share with you all. But I have never had a place or an area that just felt that way. A place that I knew I could belong and just be me. It's been a rather uncomfortable walk on this path at times, but usually I could find my comfort and peace when I surrounded myself with those who became family rather than just my raiding party.
Recently however, I have in fact found myself spending time, yes with more people who feel like home, but also in an area that I just feel myself. A place I feel comfortable and relaxed. A place I feel I need to relocate myself to as it just feels like home. I have never experienced such a thing in my life and it is truly satisfying and freeing. To know I can be in this particular neck of the woods and know I was home.
I have felt this hiraeth - a homesickness to a home you have never had or you cannot return, for most of my life. So you can imagine the surprise when that was finally quelled in this particular place and area. It has been a thing I have longed for, most of my life and now that I have found it, it is time to keep it and build on it, to let it grow, let myself continue to heal and reach towards the next thing. The next adventure in life. The new path that I am going to be following.
Does it mean I am completely abandoning my former family and those who have stood with me against the biggest of my boss battles and running headlong to this place and these people? No! This place is definitely not so far as to have that happen. I will still be able to make my way to see those who mean so much to me and have become such huge parts of my being and my path, but I feel I will be more at peace and happier in my traversing to see them. With this new path I am very much looking forward to what life will bring. I meet the new day gladly.
