All Your Mood is Belong to Them....

    My battle that I have been fighting the past few days is one that many of us fight on a daily basis and often. I have been fighting with my own thoughts, and views of me. My whole life I have had skirmishes with self doubt, lower self worth and low confidence. The past couple of days that particular monster seems to be raising it's ugly head again. It's a monster that I have put down, fought back and attempted to get away from time and time again. I know that it's a fight I'm not alone in. Many people fight with this monster daily, much less the every now and again that I have come to fighting it. I wish I could say that I didn't, but sadly the past couple of days have proven otherwise.

    I attempt very much to keep reminding myself that I have people who care for me, people who tell me all the time I am a good person, or I'm attractive or that I'm amazing. I think this may be a battle that I will constantly need help with. Need to ask for help to beat this recurring villain in my life. Seeing this little Oracle doesn't seem to be able to kill it completely by herself. I do have to say that it is a huge thing asking for help with this, as I am very known for doing it myself and fixing me on my own. I am not using this as a traditional "call for help" and I'm REALLY not in a, I'm going do something stupid mode. I'm just a little less happy and a little more down, both in life itself and about myself the past few days.

    I am sure it has something to do with the banality and monotony that some parts of my week have become. Plus the dark and snowy days we've had recently haven't helped I'm sure. But again I find myself fighting this fight the past couple days. I want to say fear not, I will beat it back yet again. The light has started returning, the weather is warmer today and despite having rain coming our way, it's going to be a bit warmer. I am hoping to beat some of it back with fun coming up in the next few days. With going out dancing tonight at Riot, seeing my question partner, and lots of geeky gamingness this weekend with a crazy LAN party with my friends. There will also be cheering up of some of my Crew this weekend due to sad things happening this past week.

    I have been looking forward to this coming weekend's activities for a while. It will be great to spend an entire weekend just relaxing with the Crew and beating each other up or working together in made up worlds of fantasy, sci fi and the like. Should be a good time and I get to share it with my questing partner and a whole bunch of my amazing Crew. Now I just have to wait out until it is time to go have the fun so I can stop the downness.

The Time has Come, To Talk of Many Things....Of Shoes and Ships and FIREBALLS!!!!!

    I do believe this is my first day of EVER being truly angry at being at the Tower. Today through tomorrow we are getting yet another snowmagedon and I seriously don't want to be here at all. It isn't too bad yet out there, but it is progressively getting worse. I am hoping that the Wizard's Tower will close early and we can all go home and be safe in our own individual domiciles. Warm and cozy and hiding from the horrible weather. I am seriously not in a good mood and not wanting to be here at all. Though one of my two supervisors did get very happy when I came in. It seems despite all the sickness spells that the DM that is life keeps throwing at me has not taken away my status of being the "Golden Oracle" here at work. They are still glad to have me here, even when I'm not pleased to be here.

    I do apologize dear readers, it is not usually like me to be so vehemently upset about things in my day. I generally am the person to spread my joy spells, optimism and happiness, but today has just been filled with little things setting me off from the start. I am attempting to cast calm person on myself right now as I'm not in a rational state of mind currently. Just wanting to be curled up with my questing partner hiding from the mess outside and from the outside world today. I am seriously hoping again that the Tower closes early, or at least lets some of us leave early and I can do that very thing. Just waiting to see if I'll have to ask or if they'll do it of their own volition. So we shall see about today and getting an early start on this weekend.

    EDIT: The Tower is indeed letting me out early. Though out of necessity as  I would not be able to get home otherwise. Due to using the public carriages and such it seems like it will take me about 3 and 1/2 hours to get home. Wee! At least no one will be endangering themselves to come and collect me. Yay for keeping those I care about safe and secure. Tonight I believe there will be much curling up and hiding from the snow / cold. I am thinking that I am probably staying away from the evilness of Snowmagedon tomorrow as well so I will be at home curled up, hiding. Wee!