For today's confession from this active gamer girl. I must take you back several cycles to something that was said to our heroine by someone who was a very important part of her adventuring party at the time. This person still remains important to her and her memories, though time and different paths have made these two have a gap in where we are in this adventure called life. Once a part of her crew, always a part of her crew in her heart.
So many cycles ago at this point, he said to our heroine, "what you are is good enough but you are too afraid to show it". Now, at this point, being only 22 or 23 cycles and knowing everything. She fought back, she told him he was wrong and that she would prove it. She started throwing herself at and into everything which she found a little bit of passion in and burning candles at both ends and once they were nearly meeting in the middle, she would simply move on to a new candle, continuously moving in circles and patterns never really touching down. She spent many cycles living this way. Keeping her amazing adventuring party close to her, always caring, but only letting a few actually in to see who she really was inside the very core of her being.
A lot of this was because even then, she was fighting a battle, one which you all know she had waged a war against for a long time, Fear. She was hiding as she never wanted to be hurt by someone she cared for again. She was hiding because she cared too much about what other's say and think when she was not there. She had struggled with so many things, but she have mostly kept silent about them, locked away as she hadn't wanted to chase away any of those who she had chosen as her crew. She knew who she was, she knew that she had a place in this adventure called life, but she refused to accept that place and who that being.
Switching gears on you here, dear readers. Confession time -
I have fought with my own brain demons for many reasons and on many things for a long time, I am done. I am me, a gamer, a geek, a loving, caring, passionate healer, at times a fire mage, at times a bard, at times a druid in the woods. An animal and plant lover, there are reasons I feel I have a Poison Ivy side (thank you DC comics), someone who just cares too much about life. There are parts of my life you don't need to hear right now in such a forum as this, but if you want to know just ask, I am done hiding, I will be open, honest and as transparent as I can. But I am me, here I stand.
I owe a lot of this to some of the most amazing people I could have ever had the privilege of having in my life and being in or adding to my crew. Finding out and remembering that I have so many amazing and wonderful beings in my life who are amazing examples, showing me it's okay to be who I really am. Who are so supportive, loving and fiercely compassionate about those who they call their own. I am so very thankful to have been able to have the strength to continue my path being fully myself.
Please don't follow my example, let yourself be you. Know that you are good enough, strong enough and loved enough to be yourself regardless of the things which your own brain demons are telling you. I am standing with you and we are strong together!
Please don't follow my example, let yourself be you. Know that you are good enough, strong enough and loved enough to be yourself regardless of the things which your own brain demons are telling you. I am standing with you and we are strong together!
